Towards the end of last year I went through a huge change, a break-up, something I discussed in my ‘A Bit More Personal..’ post (have a read if you want to get up to date with me!). I was struggling with self-love, and Christmas was particularly difficult for me. New Years was even worse. I so desperately wanted things to change. I wanted to go into 2016 with a positive outlook, and most importantly, start doing things for myself for once. So when I heard ‘Yoga with Adriene’s’ Adriene Mishler was starting a 30 day Yogacamp for the month of January, completely free, with a video uploaded every single day, I was sold. I signed up, and got my first email which included the YogaCamp Calendar. I printed it out and marvelled at all the beautiful mantras I was yet to experience. The whole idea seemed too good to be true, and I feel the universe was helping me by bringing it to my attention. It was exactly what I needed, and was aimed to tackle my largest problem at the time, self-love.
On January 1st, it all started. The first video was an introduction, and then Jan 2nd the first yoga practise of the month was uploaded. I rolled out my matt, tied my hair up, and took some deep breaths. I cannot explain to you how, even after the first day of yogacamp, I felt a weight lifted. I felt I was moving in the right direction. AND GUUURL WAS I RIGHT!
Adriene is from Texas so each upload was at 6am her time, which was 12pm for me in Ireland. I made a habit of waking up, cleaning, tending to the animals, eating breakfast, and doing a few odd jobs before the video came in. I felt for the first time in months I was excited to get out of bed, and would become so elated knowing that 12pm was coming soon. It truly revived a part of me that had been lost for many years, the drive…the excitement…the gratitude..the accomplishment…the self-love. It got to a point where I was laughing at myself thinking ‘oh my friends want to go out this weekend, buuuuut what about my yogacamp?!’. That’s another thing that was so important after the breakup, to keep friends close, and to get out the house and enjoy myself. I couldn’t believe I wanted to stay home alone, not to eat ice cream and feel sorry for myself…but just so I could make sure I got my yogacamp fix!
I got so used to doing it everyday, and concentrating on each day’s mantra, that I felt I was subconsciously letting myself feel everything I was trying to avoid months before. That sounds bad, but beforehand I was constantly trying to force myself to be happy and confident, which after I while I realised was the thing holding me back and that was stopping me from moving forward. Focussing on positive mantras, and only that, until the next day rolled around, kept things small, easier to handle, and approachable. It wasn’t scary anymore.
On top of all that, I felt part of a community that was separate from the people I know in my life, who didn’t have opinions on what I was going through. I found that so refreshing, part of a family that had no judgement. Reading other people’s experiences of the very same videos I was watching, was grounding in itself.
The gratitude I feel for this woman is immense. She came out of the blue and helped me with deep personal issues I’ve had for years. And she gave it all out for free. You can just tell the amount of effort that went into the mantras, the thoughtful poses for each day, the awareness of different levels people may be at, the delicacy with which she handled the intense and overwhelming idea of ‘making self-love cool again’.. all the while making you laugh with her hilarious jokes. I’ve been doing yoga for years and have never felt so affected by a practise in my life.
When it all came to an end there is a sadness attached, however I decided to restart it all over again. I was hopeful that the change in self-love could only double after doing it all again for the next month. I was right. I feel the happiest and most at peace I’ve ever felt, I feel strong, beautiful, and capable of tackling anything that comes my way in the future. Some of those things I never thought I’d say. It is always a constant journey, but respect it and be patient. So after all that, I want to say, Thank you Adriene Mishler. You’ll probably never read this, but I’m sending love and light to you! I am aware I’m a bit late to post this, a few months after… but I feel it was important to express this and better late than never.
If you are struggling with self-love, or are curious about sticking to yoga practise for 30 days, I cannot recommend this enough. If that’s not your cup of tea, she has a vast amount of other videos on her channel which I’ll link below. HAPPY YOGA-ING AND REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF!
Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this,