Balance

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So I’m sitting here on the 2nd of January unsure of what to start writing about.

 

I’ve only made 5 posts on this blog this year.

 

The longer I leave it between posts the more difficult it is to start a new one.

 

But that’s ok. This is where I’m at. This is 2018.

 

Honestly when I think back on this year, I’m filled with gratitude and happiness.

 

Total sap.

 

I’ve continuously worked my ass off at a job that I love. It’s developed into such a rewarding passion. I’ve learned so much from it and it has brought me on some crazy adventures around this beautiful Island I call home.

 

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It’s given me the freedom to do things outside of work that also bring me happiness.

 

Good quality time. Adventures abroad and at home. Festivals. National Parks. Drunken nights expressing my love to my friends. Sober nights laughing my face off.

 

So it’s brought me to this one particular thing that I feel 2017 has been all about for me.

 

Balance.

 

Balancing work and play. Balancing healthy eating with not so healthy eating. Nights in and nights out. The ups and downs of mental health. A learning curve.

 

Life is so unpredictable no matter how much you try to think that it isn’t. Things change so consistently.

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When I was younger, having a bit of a battle with anxiety and mental health, as so many of us do, change seemed like a really scary thing. Trying to take control of certain aspects of my life always appeared to give me comfort. It’s now that I realise that isn’t true – attempting to control things, that are truly out of your control, usually just leads to you feeling worse.

 

I’m aware that’s a super vague way of putting it, but I hope that at least some of you get where I’m coming from.

 

Change is inevitable. And so much is out of our control.

 

All that we truly have control over is our own thoughts, our own feelings, and whether or not we choose to be happy.

 

If ever someone told me years ago that you could just choose to be happy, I’d call them out on that bullshit. As if it was that easy.

 

It’s not that easy. It’s hard work. But I believe most of us still can.

 

And now I’m this person. I’ve chosen to be happy and I am.

 

I’ve chosen to try my best to take things in my stride, to maintain a healthy balance with whatever I do. Feeling comfortable with myself.

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2017 was super fun. While maintaining a balance with things that I love, like yoga, hikes and some good laughs, I also tried new things that made me step out of my comfort zone. Things that made me feel a bit uncomfortable at first, vulnerable and unknown. Opportunities for growth. I truly feel like I’ve understood how important having a healthy balance is to your mental health.

 

I’m going into 2018 happy and excited for a new chapter. I hope that you are too, and that you know you deserve to feel the same.

 

I talk about this every year because it’s something that always leaves a lasting impact on me: a month of daily yoga in January with Adriene Mishler. You’ll be sick of me mentioning this lady – but tune in to her youtube channel for a new practise every day for the month of January. The series is called ‘True’ this year. It’s real damn good so far.

 

Getting older has been a truly beautiful thing for me, keeping it real and being honest with myself every step of the way has been what’s helped me to stay balanced within myself.

 

Still on that self-love train. Still accepting the ups and downs. Still giving all the love.

 

I wish you all the best for 2018.

 

I’d typically write a little note here on when you’ll hear from me next, but let’s be honest, cut the bullshit and keep it real, neither of us know when that’s gonna happen. I only write when I feel the urge to, which clearly is not that often! All the same, I want to say thank you to anyone who took the time to read the rambles this year.

 

Love & Light to you beautiful people,

 

Namaste,

 

Amy xx

 

 

2017

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I know I’m late.

But how late is too late?

2017. Wait… 2016.

Let’s talk about 2016.

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2016 was  one of the hardest and best years of my life thus far. Let’s start from the beginning.

January was filled with #yogacamp by the wonderful Adriene Mishler – see my post about it here. I learned self-love, confidence, trusting in myself. It changed me.

February I started to step out of my comfort zone. I went on dates. I kept up the fitness – LWRHIITIN4. My body changed dramatically.

I bought my first car and got insured. I started to drive and tasted that freedom for the first time.

I became closer to female friends, lost some, gained some. I felt I only truly started to understand the beauty of women and all that we are.

I agreed to do my first photo-shoot for a hair salon. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I took the leap, I couldn’t believe I did it. I let the hairstylist do what she wanted to my hair. I felt such empowerment and freedom from this experience (I wasn’t thrilled with the new look … but hey that was part of the process!)

I saw Beyoncé in June. Formation World Tour. BEYONCÉ. What?! B.E.Y.O.N.C.É. That night legit changed my life. So much happiness, so much strength. So. Much. Love.

I passed my driving test first time.

I spent the sunny Irish summer (max. 3 weeks… maybe…) lying in my back garden, mostly naked, listening to music and reading books. All day everyday for those 3 weeks. I enjoyed this time with myself so much and will never forget it.

I got a job. I got the job. I got a job that I always wanted. I cried with happiness, I welcomed the challenge. I still love it.

I stayed vegan all this year. I don’t think I will ever go back. It gives me such gratitude and respect for all living things.

I overcame so many mental issues. So many downfalls, tears, difficulty… within myself. I worked through it. I had the strength and drive to want better for myself. I can’t say I solved everything ….there is always work to be done (Do you ever really ‘get there’?). But I achieved so much and have come so far. I am not even close to the person I was this time last year. I learned to love myself. I learned to give love.

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2017.

This year tho.

This gon’ be my year tho.

Let’s just list out some things/thoughts for 2017, cause that’s what people do, right?

I want to explore my creativity, fully, now that I have recognised how much joy it gives me. And to explore that through many different outlets. Write more on the blog, pull back on the perfectionism … you’re just writing about you and the things that you love.

I want to continuously remind myself to take responsibility for my own happiness.

I want to continue to practise yoga, daily, because I know how good it makes me feel.

I want to get fitter and push the boundaries of that, but with ease and awareness.

I want to continue to challenge myself in my work, and push myself to learn and succeed.

I want to love more. I know that I have the capacity and it is in my nature, but past hurt has made me wary, less giving. I want to let go of that fear, and I want to give love to the people in my life that matter so much to me. *Don’t cry*

I want to laugh more and stop being so god damn serious (if you read my blog you will totally get this!)

I want to travel more and see more of the world, and through this learn more about myself.

Finally, something I’ve really been working on and getting somewhere with, is to apologise less. Stop apologising. You are who you are. You know who you are. You love who you are.

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A lot of negative things happened in 2016. A lot of sad things, scary things. Things I never imagined would happen, and things I am not going to comment on or discuss here. All I will say is, keep your focus on love. Love will conquer, and there is always love to be found if you look hard enough.

Happy New Year.

Feel free to comment… to discuss things you’ve overcome in 2016, goals you have for the new year, or just to have a chat, please do so down below… or tweet me @amylauren_b

Thank you so much to everyone who has read my blog over the past year, it means a lot more to me than you might think! I wish you all the best for the year ahead.

So. Much. Love.

Namaste,

Amy xx

P.s.   First full moon of 2017 last night. I’m relishing in it, and viewing it as the ‘real’ New Year. Celebrate. Be present. Enjoy!